Maternity Pictures

7 months along // baby due July 19th // Mesa, AZ

long time no post

I have so many half -typed blog posts that have never been posted it is quite ridiculous. Even so, I find myself so overwhelmed with life and change that I thought it was a good time to finally post something and actually click publish. Hopefully.

I love my last post so much since I was so happy and content. I wish I could have just paused and let it last a little longer. I'm still happy now of course but times of growth don't always seem like a vacation in a desert oasis... more like a walk in the desert with no water where the oasis seems too far away (which actually happened on the way back and tyler, mark, hannah, and I still joke about almost dying if that stranger hadn't given us a ride to our car hahaha). 

Since then I've had the most amazing and tasking job of being a fifth grade teacher to some pretty amazing kids. Tomorrow will be my last Friday and then four more days. I've had moments of real joy teaching them about math and language and history and life. I've also had moments of absolute disappointment and anger just wanting them to be better and reach their potential. And of course the grading. Gosh it really sucks, I'm not going to lie! In the end though, I've loved being a teacher and look forward to doing it again someday. 

Which brings me to the other thing that has happened. Our little girl who is almost here. We announced we were expecting and due with a girl on July 19th 2017. As if being a first year teacher wasn't hard enough, throwing pregnancy in the mix was kind of crazy! I was nauseous during the first trimester the whole time and I slept as soon as I got home from work. And then there was the ravenous hunger for anything that didn't make me sick like cheese, carrots, and fruit.  My kids thought I was crazy and Tyler didn't know what to do with me haha. Through it all I manged to keep running and even ran a 10K! I found out why they call the second trimester the "golden trimester when the nausea vanished and I suddenly felt so much better! Then the kicks came. SO MANY KICKS. I think she might be a runner! They have been getting stronger ever since and it has been the best experience. At first I really struggled with the decision to stay home or continue to work as a full time teacher after a few weeks of  maternity leave. I cried and prayed that I would get an answer. I always wanted to be there for my kids and teach them myself, but loving my job so much made the decision seem impossible. My answer was to stay home and I felt so alone in that decision. I knew it was right for some reason I didn't know. People questioned me since I have endless family members willing to babysit and watch; even Tyler wanted me to work. But I cried as I signed that resignation letter to teach till the end of May. Little did I know there was another surprise waiting for us.

Today I am 31 weeks pregnant at home alone facing one of my biggest challenges yet. Tyler got a job up in Utah that we couldn't turn down and he starts in a week. Right now he is up there looking for places to live and just like that, I feel so blind to the near future and unable to plan more than a few days ahead. It has been so hard to read articles and books and apps about what I should be doing. I should be making birth plans, painting furniture, setting up a nursery but who knows where I will be in a few weeks? Should I stay here and be more comfortable for the birth? Should I go up and make the move easier? Meanwhile, I feel my bump growing, and anticipation and anxiety seems to take turns in my head throughout the day. 

BUT. I have something to say to all those who might still be out there listening. 

I have a mantra that echos in my mind whenever I feel lost and too tired to deal with the confusion. "Replace fear with faith" (Dieter F. Uchtdorf). It's super hard to do but it's the only way I get through the mess that is life. 

Since life is about to get a lot more exciting and I really am looking forward to this new adventure that Tyler and I (plus baby) are about to go on, I thought I should start blogging again. And I obviously need to post all my maternity pics somewhere other than Facebook because I like to think I'm cooler than that (haha end of the year sarcasm is so strong right now!). So, here's to a new chapter in our almost family of three and making a home in a place that this Arizona girl has no idea what to expect. 

Anywayyyy, I just drank 2 cans of Dr. Pepper and really need to do some grading so thanks for reading, Peace. 

Love, 

Liv

Adventuring at Fossil Creek

 I always find myself "planning" magical moments when that's not actually what happens. Turns out roads get closed, temperatures can rise, and a natural desert oasis can get annoyingly crowded even with parking reservations (that turn out to be a few more miles away from the trail head than you think). Haha. Yes my awesomely planned getaway started a little rough! But I'm so thankful for the wonderful husband I have that rolls his eyes and tells me "so what?" and also for optimistic friends who are always fun to be around. 

We chose the hike less travelled so we could be in the shade and hike along the creek but we kind of ended up climbing on the side of cliff while I snapped pictures. My calves are paying for it now. It really was beautiful though, and I've never seen water in AZ that isn't brown/green but such a pretty aqua color! I purposely stayed in the back so I could stare and take more pictures. 

When we actually got to the famous waterfall we felt a little uncomfortable since it was crowded with everyone who seemed to know each other and not even a place to put our stuff. We stopped for a minute to rest and eat then headed back to find a part in the creek we could swim all to ourselves! I could not believe the amount of fish just chilling out and nibbling at my feet! Not going to lie, I had to find a stick and shoo them away because they were freaking me out. It was the best part of the hike to finally cool off and enjoy the creek and a much smaller waterfall all to ourselves. Although being in nature and out of cell service  range, it was so nice to get back in the car, blast the a/c and inhale some good ole sonic.

I thought I would include some tips since we had no idea what to expect and would have loved if someone could give me some REAL advice. 

1.Use google maps since they will tell you directions to your actual parking place that you need to reserve. Make sure you know where you are driving. 

2. Plan ahead! We bought permits 3 weeks in advanced and got the parking spot that was the furthest away, making most of the hike on a boring dirt road in the straight sun. Try to get parking at the trailhead if possible because it will save you a lot of time. 

3. Check to make sure your car is up for the trip. There is a long 14 mile dirt road to the parking lots and it's not made for small cars. Try and drive in a truck or suv for a faster, safer trip!

4. Make sure you are prepared. Pack more water than you need. My little camelback was out when I got to the waterfall and I had to share on the way back. Also wear some good running shoes; hiking shoes aren't necessary. Pack some water shoes if you can. It's not a straight path to the waterfall.

5. Bring snack or pack a lunch to eat. If you hike the trail along the creek you will be hungry! 

6. Bring a camera whether it's your phone or a GoPro because it's gorgeous! 

7. If you are unsure of where you are going don't be afraid to ask questions. There will be two places to check in with your reservation permit and parking pass. There will be people who know the trails well to let you know where to go.

We were planning Disneyland and Universal trips on the way there and more hiking trips on the way back. I've been bit by the travel bug and I've been dying to leave the state since graduation day! That's all Tyler has been talking about since his accounting class was done (and he passed! Yayyyyy!). I'm loving this and soaking it all in until real life hits me in a few weeks! 

Real Talk

Let's be real. We all in some way want our lives to look good and happy and perfect. Some people are REALLY good at doing that. I have friends with beautiful, flawless-looking Instagram accounts and they don't have it all put together like you would think. I'm not against sharing beautiful images and things that are worth sharing but it's easy to get that yucky envious feeling after scrolling for awhile. I'm definitely guilty of doing this! And don't even get me started on how Pinterest just puts my shabby little apartment to shame. You know how you get to feel life is worthy of #nofilterbecasuemylifeisthatgood?? It's not complicated. You just do. Life is so much easier when you simplify things and broaden your perspective. 

Lately I've felt like the toughest things in my life have been thrown at me but with some help from God and people that love me (including myself) I can still feel like my little life is something worth waking up in the morning for. The trick is to look at all the good things in your life and literally remind yourself ALL THE TIME. Write it on your walls and mirrors if you have to. The other trick is to let things go. This is the hardest for me. Someone just cut you off on the freeway? Let it go. Someone forget that you said no cheese on your burger? Let it go. Your husband is an imperfect person and does some things that annoy you? Let. It. Go. 

I'm pretty sure that this is a struggle that might not ever go away but who says you can't still be happy while you are paying off student loans and living in a crappy apartment? That's right. Anyone can, because in the great scheme of things it doesn't really matter and there is so much more to life than worrying, fussing, stressing, and (let's face it) being a little too entitled and full of yourself. I told you this was real talk! 

I love my husband, I love my home, I love my job, I love my family and friends, I love the gospel and I love my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. (I repeat this daily!) That's all there is to it! 

It wouldn't be right for me not to quote one of my favorite talks to really make this whole blog post really sink in. It really is awesome so enjoy. 

Grateful in Any Circumstances

By President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Second Counselor in the First Presidency

Have we not reason to be filled with gratitude, regardless of the circumstances in which we find ourselves?

Over the years, I have had the sacred opportunity to meet with many people whose sorrows seem to reach the very depths of their soul. In these moments, I have listened to my beloved brothers and sisters and grieved with them over their burdens. I have pondered what to say to them, and I have struggled to know how to comfort and support them in their trials.

Often their grief is caused by what seems to them as an ending. Some are facing the end of a cherished relationship, such as the death of a loved one or estrangement from a family member. Others feel they are facing the end of hope—the hope of being married or bearing children or overcoming an illness. Others may be facing the end of their faith, as confusing and conflicting voices in the world tempt them to question, even abandon, what they once knew to be true.

Sooner or later, I believe that all of us experience times when the very fabric of our world tears at the seams, leaving us feeling alone, frustrated, and adrift.

It can happen to anyone. No one is immune.

We Can Be Grateful

Everyone’s situation is different, and the details of each life are unique. Nevertheless, I have learned that there is something that would take away the bitterness that may come into our lives. There is one thing we can do to make life sweeter, more joyful, even glorious.

We can be grateful!

It might sound contrary to the wisdom of the world to suggest that one who is burdened with sorrow should give thanks to God. But those who set aside the bottle of bitterness and lift instead the goblet of gratitude can find a purifying drink of healing, peace, and understanding.

As disciples of Christ, we are commanded to “thank the Lord [our] God in all things,”1 to “sing unto the Lord with thanksgiving,”2 and to “let [our] heart be full of thanks unto God.”3

Why does God command us to be grateful?

All of His commandments are given to make blessings available to us. Commandments are opportunities to exercise our agency and to receive blessings. Our loving Heavenly Father knows that choosing to develop a spirit of gratitude will bring us true joy and great happiness.

Being Grateful for Things

But some might say, “What do I have to be grateful for when my world is falling apart?”

Perhaps focusing on what we are grateful for is the wrong approach. It is difficult to develop a spirit of gratitude if our thankfulness is only proportional to the number of blessings we can count. True, it is important to frequently “count our blessings”—and anyone who has tried this knows there are many—but I don’t believe the Lord expects us to be less thankful in times of trial than in times of abundance and ease. In fact, most of the scriptural references do not speak of gratitude for things but rather suggest an overall spirit or attitude of gratitude.

It is easy to be grateful for things when life seems to be going our way. But what then of those times when what we wish for seems to be far out of reach?

Could I suggest that we see gratitude as a disposition, a way of life that stands independent of our current situation? In other words, I’m suggesting that instead of being thankful for things, we focus on being thankful in our circumstances—whatever they may be.

There is an old story of a waiter who asked a customer whether he had enjoyed the meal. The guest replied that everything was fine, but it would have been better if they had served more bread. The next day, when the man returned, the waiter doubled the amount of bread, giving him four slices instead of two, but still the man was not happy. The next day, the waiter doubled the bread again, without success.

On the fourth day, the waiter was really determined to make the man happy. And so he took a nine-foot-long (3-m) loaf of bread, cut it in half, and with a smile, served that to the customer. The waiter could scarcely wait for the man’s reaction.

After the meal, the man looked up and said, “Good as always. But I see you’re back to giving only two slices of bread.”

Being Grateful in Our Circumstances

My dear brothers and sisters, the choice is ours. We can choose to limit our gratitude, based on the blessings we feel we lack. Or we can choose to be like Nephi, whose grateful heart never faltered. When his brothers tied him up on the ship—which he had built to take them to the promised land—his ankles and wrists were so sore “they had swollen exceedingly,” and a violent storm threatened to swallow him up in the depths of the sea. “Nevertheless,” Nephi said, “I did look unto my God, and I did praise him all the day long; and I did not murmur against the Lord because of mine afflictions.”4

We can choose to be like Job, who seemed to have everything but then lost it all. Yet Job responded by saying, “Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return … : the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”5

We can choose to be like the Mormon pioneers, who maintained a spirit of gratitude during their slow and painful trek toward the Great Salt Lake, even singing and dancing and glorying in the goodness of God.6 Many of us would have been inclined to withdraw, complain, and agonize about the difficulty of the journey.

We can choose to be like the Prophet Joseph Smith, who, while a prisoner in miserable conditions in Liberty Jail, penned these inspired words: “Dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.”7

We can choose to be grateful, no matter what.

This type of gratitude transcends whatever is happening around us. It surpasses disappointment, discouragement, and despair. It blooms just as beautifully in the icy landscape of winter as it does in the pleasant warmth of summer.

When we are grateful to God in our circumstances, we can experience gentle peace in the midst of tribulation. In grief, we can still lift up our hearts in praise. In pain, we can glory in Christ’s Atonement. In the cold of bitter sorrow, we can experience the closeness and warmth of heaven’s embrace.

We sometimes think that being grateful is what we do after our problems are solved, but how terribly shortsighted that is. How much of life do we miss by waiting to see the rainbow before thanking God that there is rain?

Being grateful in times of distress does not mean that we are pleased with our circumstances. It does mean that through the eyes of faith we look beyond our present-day challenges.

This is not a gratitude of the lips but of the soul. It is a gratitude that heals the heart and expands the mind.

Gratitude as an Act of Faith

Being grateful in our circumstances is an act of faith in God. It requires that we trust God and hope for things we may not see but which are true.8 By being grateful, we follow the example of our beloved Savior, who said, “Not my will, but thine, be done.”9

True gratitude is an expression of hope and testimony. It comes from acknowledging that we do not always understand the trials of life but trusting that one day we will.

In any circumstance, our sense of gratitude is nourished by the many and sacred truths we do know: that our Father has given His children the great plan of happiness; that through the Atonement of His Son, Jesus Christ, we can live forever with our loved ones; that in the end, we will have glorious, perfect, and immortal bodies, unburdened by sickness or disability; and that our tears of sadness and loss will be replaced with an abundance of happiness and joy, “good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over.”10

It must have been this kind of testimony that transformed the Savior’s Apostles from fearful, doubting men into fearless, joyful emissaries of the Master. In the hours following His Crucifixion, they were consumed with despair and grief, unable to understand what had just happened. But one event changed all of that. Their Lord appeared to them and declared, “Behold my hands and my feet, that it is I myself.”11

When the Apostles recognized the risen Christ—when they experienced the glorious Resurrection of their beloved Savior—they became different men. Nothing could keep them from fulfilling their mission. They accepted with courage and determination the torture, humiliation, and even death that would come to them because of their testimony.12 They were not deterred from praising and serving their Lord. They changed the lives of people everywhere. They changed the world.

You do not need to see the Savior, as the Apostles did, to experience the same transformation. Your testimony of Christ, born of the Holy Ghost, can help you look past the disappointing endings in mortality and see the bright future that the Redeemer of the world has prepared.

We Are Not Made for Endings

In light of what we know about our eternal destiny, is it any wonder that whenever we face the bitter endings of life, they seem unacceptable to us? There seems to be something inside of us that resists endings.

Why is this? Because we are made of the stuff of eternity. We are eternal beings, children of the Almighty God, whose name is Endless13 and who promises eternal blessings without number. Endings are not our destiny.

The more we learn about the gospel of Jesus Christ, the more we realize that endings here in mortality are not endings at all. They are merely interruptions—temporary pauses that one day will seem small compared to the eternal joy awaiting the faithful.

How grateful I am to my Heavenly Father that in His plan there are no true endings, only everlasting beginnings.

Those Who Are Grateful Will Be Made Glorious

Brothers and sisters, have we not reason to be filled with gratitude, regardless of the circumstances in which we find ourselves?

Do we need any greater reason to let our hearts “be full of thanks unto God”?14

“Have we not great reason to rejoice?”15

How blessed we are if we recognize God’s handiwork in the marvelous tapestry of life. Gratitude to our Father in Heaven broadens our perception and clears our vision. It inspires humility and fosters empathy toward our fellowmen and all of God’s creation. Gratitude is a catalyst to all Christlike attributes! A thankful heart is the parent of all virtues.16

The Lord has given us His promise that those “who [receive] all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto [them], even an hundred fold, yea, more.”17

May we “live in thanksgiving daily”18—especially during the seemingly unexplainable endings that are part of mortality. May we allow our souls to expand in thankfulness toward our merciful Heavenly Father. May we ever and constantly raise our voices and show by word and deed our gratitude to our Father in Heaven and to His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ. For this I pray, and leave you my testimony and blessing, in the name of our Master, Jesus Christ, amen.

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